after a looooong time
hey everyone... well, in case you missed me, i have NOT dropped off the face of the earth, I just live out in the middle of nowhere now and haven't been around highspeed internet in awhile... thus forcing me to decide and prioritize the people I keep in touch with and my blog sadly becoming one of the last things I bother with. Isn't that horrible? I just have no idea if anyone even reads the thing... am I just shooting my thoughts out into a cold harsh void of useless information that no one really cares about? well, whatever.
So I have a job doing manual labour now... big change for me but it's getting a bit better - I have to go to work today. Calling in sick and then seeing the foremen in town is pretty terrible! But I just switched shifts, so it wasn't REALLY a sick call in... or something.
AND it's official. I've paid my money and I'm set to go to Scotland. Ieeeee! I"ve taken the step. That one that says I am committed and I am going to go and do this crazy outdoor pursuits program... and I'm not sure how I'll pay for it... but I'm also saying that God will provide. I think it's a lot harder to trust God when you sort of have control over your life and finances. When I was a "missionary" it was just sit back and let God provide b/c I had NO control... but now that I'm working it's way more stressful.
The Bible is becoming so much more practical in a sense though - suddenly Jesus' teachings take on a whole new spin and are a lot harder to apply... loving people who are always angry with you (or feel like they are) whether you've done anything to deserve it or not... controlling your mind b/c to think angry thoughts is as much a sin as acting on it... trusting God to provide b/c no matter how hard you work, you'll never quite have enough money...
I almost started crying in church sitting next to my dad - it felt so good to be home and surrounded by friends and family who have known me.
I'm suddenly seeing the difference in values now... my life is governed by the hope of eternity. almost entirely. Everything I do and strive for is based on the understanding that my life will last forever - it will outlast earth... that one day I will stand before God and give an account for how I have lived. It changes absolutely everything. It also makes the contact I have with people very different. When I'm with Believers who have a similar goal, I feel so at home and at rest I can't even put words to it. That's why I started to cry.
I took for granted the amazingness of my life at VTI - being able to travel and play music and be creative and have deep talks with people all day every day. Sure, it was hard work, but man it was fun. Living out in the boonies is harder b/c it feels more isolated and it takes me a long time to adjust to change. But my whole life is taking on a massive change from now on - outdoor pursuits, here I come! I wonder if I'm tough enough for this?
I'll try to keep you posted.
Shalom.
So I have a job doing manual labour now... big change for me but it's getting a bit better - I have to go to work today. Calling in sick and then seeing the foremen in town is pretty terrible! But I just switched shifts, so it wasn't REALLY a sick call in... or something.
AND it's official. I've paid my money and I'm set to go to Scotland. Ieeeee! I"ve taken the step. That one that says I am committed and I am going to go and do this crazy outdoor pursuits program... and I'm not sure how I'll pay for it... but I'm also saying that God will provide. I think it's a lot harder to trust God when you sort of have control over your life and finances. When I was a "missionary" it was just sit back and let God provide b/c I had NO control... but now that I'm working it's way more stressful.
The Bible is becoming so much more practical in a sense though - suddenly Jesus' teachings take on a whole new spin and are a lot harder to apply... loving people who are always angry with you (or feel like they are) whether you've done anything to deserve it or not... controlling your mind b/c to think angry thoughts is as much a sin as acting on it... trusting God to provide b/c no matter how hard you work, you'll never quite have enough money...
I almost started crying in church sitting next to my dad - it felt so good to be home and surrounded by friends and family who have known me.
I'm suddenly seeing the difference in values now... my life is governed by the hope of eternity. almost entirely. Everything I do and strive for is based on the understanding that my life will last forever - it will outlast earth... that one day I will stand before God and give an account for how I have lived. It changes absolutely everything. It also makes the contact I have with people very different. When I'm with Believers who have a similar goal, I feel so at home and at rest I can't even put words to it. That's why I started to cry.
I took for granted the amazingness of my life at VTI - being able to travel and play music and be creative and have deep talks with people all day every day. Sure, it was hard work, but man it was fun. Living out in the boonies is harder b/c it feels more isolated and it takes me a long time to adjust to change. But my whole life is taking on a massive change from now on - outdoor pursuits, here I come! I wonder if I'm tough enough for this?
I'll try to keep you posted.
Shalom.
posted by kukkiriza at 10:13 AM
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